Signs
by Fuscia
Summary: He noticed all the signs, pointing him towards realizing something was wrong, but they also led to something else...an important conversation that just had to be had...


_**Signs**_

She talked in her sleep. It was always mumbled, hardly ever coherent, but he always found himself listening intently when she did. She was a deep sleeper, out like a flame as soon as her head hit the pillow, he was the exact opposite. His life was to blame; past and present combined. Every day he witnessed far too much grief and destruction for his mind to settle. He was always on high alert, constantly listening out for every creek and bump in the night. Then when you mixed in the ghosts of his past…it was no wonder he used to be an insomniac. Over the years he had gotten better, but it still took hours for sleep to finally overcome him, and even then he was up at the crack of dawn. It was this habit of his that made him aware of her habit. During those nights he found himself tangled in the sheets beside her, just watching her breath even out, he discovered this little secret about Felicity Smoak.

She always lay facing him, her warm breath wafting over his exposed chest. It gave him the perfect view of her lips as she formed the words that made no sense. In the several months that had passed since they had started doing this, he never once told her he knew this, and he doubted that she knew this about herself. It was his own little secret, his own little trick to try and finally fall asleep. He'd just watch her; try his hardest to figure out what she was saying. He'd think about what she told him about her day, any problems she might have been having, and even the things that made her smile before the sun went down. The thinking would tire out his mind, causing his eyes to shutter close. Before he knew it he'd be waking up…her body still curled up against him.

Most days he left her night-time mumbles behind as he got up to start his day. They had rules around their relationship, rules they had set up to ensure that both their daytime and nighttime obligations ran smoothly. Their relationship was private. A relationship to never be overly exposed or asserted out in public, just when they were alone, but with the two circles they ran with on a daily basis…privacy and downtime was a rarity.

They had both perfected their professional appearances, solidified their restrained actions during the frenzy of their night hours. Everyone knew they were together, a couple who loved each other unconditionally; that was enough information for the world. They would arrive at the office together, knock off one task at a time from the impeccably organized schedule she managed to arrange day after day, and then when the office computers were shutdown and deserted…she'd fire up the ones in the foundry, as he geared up with his arrows.

They had breakfast, lunches, dinners…and nights to be a couple. Tripping over each other as they navigated through her tiny apartment in a frenzy to get the day started on time. Holding hands on a slow walk down the street to a small café, where they had a booth unofficially reserved all the way in the back, away from lingering ears and watchful eyes. Light playful conversations over quick dinners, at a restaurant if they managed, but mostly in the comfort of the foundry before the other members of the team arrived. The nights were special…no matter how short or how long…no matter if they were even in the same place and bed or not. Nights it was just them, being them.

Maybe that's why she talked in her sleep, he fathomed. At night she wasn't hiding behind a secret identity or behind several high-tech computer screens. Wrapped up in his arms or just snuggled into bed alone in the comfort of her private apartment, she was free to speak her mind. He didn't want to take that freedom away from her, and he had a feeling if he ever mentioned it, she might try her hardest to stop herself…suddenly very cautious about what she was admitting when she had no control. He'd lose his comfort, almost like her mumbles were a lullaby, or a bedtime story, or a warm glass of milk. He couldn't afford that. He knew sleep was important to keep doing what he did.

So every morning he'd go for a long run, make it back in time to leave a trail of feathery kisses down her face to coax her awake…act as if she had slept in pure silence all night.

Today he couldn't do that. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't push her mumbles out of his mind, because last night they weren't all just mumbles. Some of the words were coherent, but not at all comforting.

_Won't understand…scared…help me…_

He hardly slept, pushed himself hard during his daily run; all the while, her words replying in his head like she did with a song when she became obsessed with it.

Oliver kept his mouth shut though. He kissed her awake, made them coffee and toast, and let their daily routine run smoothly, but his eyes never left her. His senses were alert to her every movement, trying his hardest to figure out if something was wrong. If he was honest with himself something was wrong, very wrong, and if he considered every angle… it had been wrong for several days. They had just been so busy this week with the start of the new year at the company (grueling meeting after grueling meeting) and their nights had been dedicated to finding a masked man who had been taking the children of Starling City's élite hostage one after another…two had already been found dead.

Oliver tried to convince himself that it was the tall order of the mission that was leaving her acting a little less Felicity like, but he just couldn't. This wasn't about either of their jobs. For some reason this felt personal.

_**The first sign**_…she didn't kiss him. Their day always started with a honk from Diggle, where he was parked right outside her ground floor apartment, and both of them hurrying towards the door. Yet, just before his hand would turn the knob, every morning without fail, her freshly painted fingers would take a hold of his tie and yank him slowly towards her. The same mischievous smile would dance across her ever changing colored lips, her eyes gleaming with happiness and desire. His heartbeat always quickened, his hand sliding to the base of her neck as a smile tugged at his lips too.

"Forget something?" she'd ask in a hush tone, a mix between her minty breath and lavender shampoo driving him crazy.

"Never," would be his quipped reply just before her lips crashed onto his own. They always ended up the same way; bags falling to the floor, her back being pushed softly against the door, her palms flat against his chest…his hands bracing her head-keeping their lips skillfully intact. They'd stay that way, all consumed in each other and ignorant to the world they had to join that morning, until they ran out of breath-or Diggle honked impatiently for the third time…whichever came first.

Today his hand was on the knob after Diggle's first honk, but she wasn't even behind him. She was still busy gathering her stuff, double checking her bags, and avoiding his gaze it felt like to the best of her ability. "Missing something," he asked easily, taking a few steps away from the door.

She doubled checked her purse a few more times before shaking her head. "No-uh…I think I got everything." Then she was walking right past him, pulling open the door; all without sparing him even a glance. He stood their stunned for a few short moments until he heard her happy morning greeting towards Diggle as she got into the car. She sounded fine…but was nowhere near acting it.

_**The second sign**_…her lips were bare. He noticed it when he slid in beside her, turning his body to face her, and asking if she was alright. Felicity wasn't already in the middle of an animated conversation with Diggle like she always was…instead her eyes were already focused on her tablet screen, a scowl fastened onto her features by her natural colored lips. Lips that hadn't kissed him once this morning.

Oliver looked up as they started to move and one held gaze with Diggle, through the rearview mirror, let him know that he wasn't the only one to find her behavior odd.

"Hey," he coaxed softly, placing a gentle hand on her knee. "Don't worry, we'll find whoever's doing this. No one else is gonna die on my watch…no one."

The gaze she met him with shined confusion behind her glasses. She had no idea what he was talking about; her mind was far away from the case and on something else entirely. "Uh, yeah…of course," she attempted, her gaze falling to the screen very quickly. "First meeting is in fifteen, Kingston Enterprises. They've got at least fifteen different ideas to pitch to Applied Sciences, so get ready for some pretty impressive science-y jargons. I'm talking above and beyond even me during one of my tech-induced stupors. Second meetings at eleven with HR-basically a briefing to make sure everyone starts off the year right. 'Clean slate, people… No law suits, people…' that sorta thing…."

She rambled on, bombarding him with his schedule like she had never done before. They hadn't even made it to the building yet. This talk usually started in the executive elevator up to the twenty-fifth floor-where they were completely alone-and she was allowed to poke fun at anyone she wanted and try to work his schedule around his other activities as much as possible.

Yes, in the car right now she wasn't risking their secret either, but she was supposed to be talking to Diggle. Asking about his night, if his shoulder had healed, and how Lyla was doing. He was supposed to intervene and start off his morning as a normal person just making pleasant conversation with two of the most important people in his life. Felicity didn't give them even a second to slip in a comment. Her mouth never stopped and she didn't even wait a second to open the door and slip out once Diggle had parked.

Oliver watched her walk away, her black heels clicking frequently as she made a hasty dash for the building's entrance. Not once did she look away from her tablet and somehow still managed to avoid hitting a single person.

"And that is…?"

Diggle was standing beside him now, both men leaning against the car, long after her figure and disappeared…still starring.

"Something's up," was the only answer he had to offer as he slammed his door with a thud. "I don't know what it is, but I just-I can't shake the feeling that it's not something good."

"She's been working until her brain fries every night this week, Oliver…"

"We all have, Diggle." He pressed, staring his partner down. "This isn't about the case or even about the yearly turn-over…this is something else…"

He heard Diggle let out a long breath. "You two have a fight?"

"No," he stated firmly. "We've been busy…but good. No raised voices, no complaints…everything's fine."

"Clearly it's not," Diggle replied with a small shrug. A teasing smile graced his face, dark eyes glistening with amusement. "Now, I know you haven't been a proper boyfriend in a while…or even ever…" Oliver rolled his eyes, but Diggle ignored it. "It's best to just apologize right off the bat."

Oliver arched a brow in annoyance. "Apologize? For what? I didn't do anything."

"Don't matter." He received a firm pat on his back and a slight push towards the building. Diggle walked back to the driver's side and Oliver had no choice but to walk in.

_**Third sign**_…he was walking in alone. They didn't hold hands, they hardly even talked, but they always walked in step with each other as they entered and made their way to the elevators. Felicity was already gone and he didn't catch sight of her until he got off the elevator on the top floor. She was already busy at her desk, eyes darting from screen to screen as they loaded up at different times. He didn't have time to question her about anything. Her mumbles were still swimming around in his head and he could barely remember a thing she said to him in the car ride over.

He wanted answers. He wanted everything to go smoothly this morning so they could be completely focused on nothing but finding the kidnapping bastard tonight. So he was willing to risk their rules this once, but before he could even approach her desk, she was springing up from her seat and dashing towards the clear doors he had just entered through. His nine AM appointment was here, and she was leading the whole team into the conference room next door.

She came back in to collect him, grabbing a hold of her tablet before entering his office and approaching his desk. "Make sure you listen in great detail," she advised, following behind him as he shrugged off his winter coat and gloves. "I know it's some pretty advanced stuff, but the pitches they're gonna be throwing your way really are quite remarkable. Inventions, concepts…a lot of brainpower went into this. I know Kingston is rumored to be a genius, but wow…I don't think I've ever been so imp-"

She sounded a little flustered and it wasn't until he fixed her with a hard gaze that she stopped her ramble abruptly. "No, please, Felicity finish the thought. I'd like to hear it."

A faint blush appeared on her cheeks for just a second, before she was shaking her head to get sorted once more. "Science geek, remember…easily impressed." She grabbed a few files from his desk and pushed them against his chest. "Off you go—geniuses aren't often very patient."

_**The fourth sign**_…it actually caused his breath to shorten. Gently, his large hand enclosed on one of hers and he couldn't look away from the clear nails topping her long fingers. "Your-your nails…" he said in utter disbelief. "I've never seen them, unpainted before."

When he looked up, he caught the quickest glance of some type of emotion flashing across her eyes. It wasn't the look of love or admiration she often discreetly shot his way throughout the course of the day…whatever it was didn't sit right with him. "Hey," he prodded softly, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "What's going on with you today?" He was standing a lot closer than he ever allowed himself at the office. One unpolished hand was still holding the files against his chest as her eyes stayed focused on it. She refused to meet his gaze, so he was going to have to force it. His hand slid up to base of her neck, like it should've been allowed to do this morning, and his thumb swept across her cheek delicately. "Something is going on with you today, Felicity…and I really hate that I don't know what it is."

She suddenly took a step back and he had to let go of her hand to catch the files she abandoned. He sucked in a breath as he watched her turn away for the umpteenth time that morning. "Don't be silly, Oliver." She offered with no emotion apparent in her voice whatsoever. "It's just nail polish."

They were talking about her, Felicity Smoak. The one girl who he had never seen step into this building without some color brushed across her nails. It wasn't just nail polish…it's who she was.

:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:

He'd barley concentrated throughout any of his meetings covering his day. His eyes just kept flickering to the back of the conference room where she sat in the corner, instead of at the table beside him, switching her attention between her phone and tablet. He wasn't the only one who scarcely took a word in from the workers of Kingston Enterprises, HR, and the twenty-thousand others they met today. With how ecstatic she was about a visit from Kingston Enterprises and her geek-out crush on Kingston Harper, he had expected her to be all ears. Physically they were both present in the meetings…mentally they couldn't be farther away.

_**Fifth sign**_…she opted out of lunch. Not that he had time to spare anyway. He was forced to eat alone with a group of old investors-surpassing eighty in age who had none stop complaints about how business were run these days, and how they couldn't be too sure if their money was being used properly. The lunch meeting was in his office and he was hoping he could at least keep an eye out for his blond girlfriend while purposely not paying attention to the aging men, but she was nowhere to be seen in her office. A few minutes into the meeting, already ready to shoot himself, he got a text.

_**Lunch with Thea, got everything sorted for the rest of your afternoon, just meet you at the f…tonight **_

It took everything in his power not to crush his phone with his bare hands and keep his professional smile plastered across his face. His annoyance was building, the tension in his shoulders was driving him crazy, and her mumbles were leaving permanent tattoos across his brain. This was going to be a very long afternoon.

Her having lunch with Thea, or even his mother, wasn't strange. The women in his life were close and he was far beyond grateful for that, but her not sitting in her office right now, or them not sitting alone in their booth…it made questioning her or studying her impossible. He knew her. He knew Felicity Smoak like the back of his hand. He could read her like an open book most days, but today…Today he felt like he was fresh off the Island. Not knowing what was going on with the people closest to him. He tried to picture the last time he had really seen her smile bold and bright, and it scared him to the core that he couldn't. Everything this week was really taking its toll and it churned his insides to see the effect it was having on their relationship.

He was foolish to think they could keep it all so separated. They were just starting out; his first very real relationship as Diggle smugly pointed out, maybe being foolish just came with the territory. He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all.

How he got through the rest of the afternoon was a mystery. He had shaken so many hands today, learned so many names, but he'd bet anyone a million dollars that he couldn't match faces to their rightful names. Today's mistakes were going to come back to bite him later on, but right now he was ready to leave his CEO identity behind. There was a killer to catch and he had to stay focused. No matter how much his blond assistant was clouding his brain.

:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:

_**Sixth sign**_…they didn't get their dinner. When he got down to the foundry, way later than he was pleased with, the whole team was already there. Diggle, Sara, and Roy were huddled around Felicity's computers, completely blocking her from view. They were all talking over each other, arguing about tonight's plan of action. It was crazy. Between their rants, the news bulletins on high volume, and his brain already exploding with inner battles…he was ready to shoot an arrow through every breathing person….starting with himself.

"HEY!"

Everything went silent. At first he thought he might've shouted losing control, but the voice didn't belong to him.

Felicity had sprung up from her chair, palms slamming against her desk. "You all need to calm down! NOW!" Roy, Diggle, and Sara were probably sharing flabbergasted looks…probably even looking towards him for answers, but his eyes stayed transfixed on his girlfriend's back. Tension was radiating off of her…utter exhaustion too. Her blond hair was cascading down her back…fingers gripping the edge of her desk until her knuckles went white. "I have an idea, a location…but we've gotta be swift and we gotta be tactful or it's all gonna blow up in our faces…again. We can't risk it! I can't watch another child…I can't okay. I won't."

Oliver stepped carefully forward. He wanted to be nothing more than her boyfriend right now, but she spoke the truth. There was a more pressing matter to deal with. So he fixed his teammates with a glare. Telling them to step up and stay focused on the mission and the mission alone. "What's the plan?"

If she just noticed his arrival, she didn't show it. She never turned around…not even once. Her body slid back into her chair, her fingers gliding across the key board. "Casper Jones," she said completely in her tech-zone. "I came across his name when I was looking through the background of all the hostages…he's got a bit of grudge against all their families."

"Why?"

"Rebellious privileged kids from Arlington Prep decided to run an underground drug ring, for their enjoyment, I s'pose…a way to burn through the money that's just filling their pockets by magic. He tried to expose it…he taught there."

"Lemme guess," Oliver growled, leaning forward to take a closer look at her screen. "Parents paid a buck and a half to have it all covered up."

"Speaking from experience?" Roy piped in with a hearty chuckle. "How often did your daddy's checkbook come between you and the police?"

"More than I would've liked…" he drawled before narrowing his eyes at Roy. "Any more useless questions or can we get back to the kidnapping-killing psychopath?"

"Wow," Roy spoke, looking between his mentor and their tech whiz, "Both of you lacking in the humor department tonight…catch you in between a lover's spat?"

"That's it!"

Oliver jerked forward but a soft hand on his arm broke through his anger. "Leave it," Felicity admonished. "Turns out Mr. Professor's own kid was involved, but a teacher's salary can't exactly pay off a jury and the police department…whole thing was pinned on Casper junior."

"How come we're just hearing about this," Sara questioned calmly. "Something like this would've been all over the news…"

"Would've," Felicity offered with a heavy sigh. "If it had ever gone to trial or the media…thing was kept pretty much on the down low after Casper junior was gunned down during a final shoot out."

"And Casper Jones just took all this sitting down and tight lipped until now? I find that highly unlikely." Oliver added.

"What he took…was thousands of dollars," Felicity informed. "His bank account saw a lot of action after his son's death. Probably shut up, took the money…tried to make it look like he just wanted to move on from it all, and then…"

"Came back for vengeance," Sara finished with a sigh. "Can't say I'm surprised, I bet you can all just imagine what my dad would do."

Everything went silent for a few minutes except Felicity's clicking keys. "Arlington Prep was founded decades ago. It used to be just a small brick schoolhouse, way back in the day…left alone as a historical site of sorts."

"Yup, because several kids being held against their will and shot down one-by-one, definitely counts as historically significant." Roy sarcastically chimed before squaring his shoulders-ready for action. "We heading out?!"

Oliver squared his jaw, his mind in overdrive as he devised the best plan of action. They huddled together, each player knowing exactly what part to play, before they broke apart to get started. This was ending tonight and all those kids were going home. "It's kids," Felicity offered at the last minute. "Not the most upstanding citizens, but neither were some of you…everyone deserves a second chance to change…to live, learn from their mistakes. Make sure they live…get their shot."

She sounded broken as she met eyes with each one of them one by one. She saved him for last. It seemed like the first time in days that they had one of their silent conversations…knowing exactly what the other was thinking without uttering a word. She was counting on him, counting on him to see this through to the end with the best possible results.

"We got em', Felicity…they'll be home with their families tonight." Diggle's voice resonated somewhere in the background, three pairs of footsteps walked away, but Oliver's eyes were still holding his girlfriend's gaze.

They moved together, meeting halfway. "Be careful." She whispered softly, fingers knotted together nervously.

"I promise to be…if you promise me that we'll talk after this." It wasn't a question.

She didn't say anything; he didn't need her too…

Without hesitating, he dropped a soft kiss to her forehead, her eyes closing at the contact.

_**Seventh sign**_…she didn't unknot her hands to grip his jacket; didn't reach out for that last grasp of closeness before he went out into the field. He shut down his worries though. He temporarily shut down the concerned boyfriend side of himself and focused on being the hero and leader those kids and his team needed him to be. He stepped away and wasn't surprised when she did the same, her body going back to her computers on auto pilot.

:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:A:

His whole body ached…Casper Jones had put up a hell of a fight, but like Sara had said, a parental vendetta was unshakable. He was dead, Casper Jones…a gun to the head by his own free will. Oliver didn't get it. He never did. Why go through all that, cause all that pain, just to end your life yourself. The mood in the foundry was a somber one like it always was when a case ended in death…on their hands or not. His team had outdone themselves, and except for a few minor setbacks, and a fair amount of bumps and bruises…they were alive. At the end that's what truly mattered.

He sent them all home. After the week they had…they all deserved to sleep for eternity. He couldn't give them that luxury, but he could give them a night.

When he emerged from the bathroom he wasn't alone, and that…that was his first sign that things weren't as bad as he thought they were. Maybe it was the case, maybe the personal angle was just all made up in his imagination. Yet, his instincts were good…and he knew that wasn't the truth. Felicity was still sitting in her chair, face resting in the palm of her hands, back to him. He found himself letting out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. She was here. Spending all day missing her, it was a relief to see her before him. And with the mission all wrapped up, a week of hard QC work put on the back-burner until Monday, he got to go back to being boyfriend Oliver Queen.

His steps were slow, the journey to her chair longer than he ever thought possible until he finally reached her. He crouched down, his body protesting but his heart and mind urging him on. A hand was placed gently on her knee. She didn't flinch at the contact and he took that as a good sign. Yet, he wasn't too happy to see her wipe away tears from under her glasses, before she finally turned her chair to face him. His gut clenched, his heart constricted painfully.

Her eyes were red, fingers slightly shaking as she reached out to grip his hand. He stood then, wrapping his arm around her. Her face buried itself into his chest, his arms kept holding her tight as he breathed her in. "C'mon…lets go home." She didn't protest. Stepped away to grab her things and was right back in his arms as they made their way out.

The ride back to her apartment was silent, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was an entirely different person walking in…then who had left that morning. Oliver gave her time to herself. As she showered the rough day off, he raided the kitchen for her stash of chewy chocolate chip cookies that she having stocked was a must for her, before making himself at home on her couch. She didn't take long to join him. Her blond hair was a still semi-wet, her body clad in a pair of old shorts and tank she always looked so good in. In her hands was a large soft blanket that she didn't hesitate to throw over them as she snuggled deep into his chest. He couldn't complain. It felt like ages since they had given themselves over to one another so completely at ease like this.

Her face turned suddenly and he had no choice but to get completely trapped in her gaze. Her hand crept up his chest, gripping the soft grey material in her hands, before yanking his body softly down towards her. Their foreheads connected, her eyes closing as his breath wafted over her face. "I love you," he declared quietly for only her to hear. "And I'm sorry I don't say it enough throughout the day." She softly shook her head at him, telling him it was okay. "Is it the mission? Are you taking on too much at QC…?"

"N-no…yes, it's been a tough few days, but…" She held his gaze, her eyes searching for a sign of her own…something to tell her that it was okay to keep going.

"You talk in your sleep." He spoke before he could stop himself; the words spilling out of his mouth as a last resort for her to open up. He knew the risks, but he felt like it was finally time to let her in on the secret he kept from her. She was surprised he could tell, her brow arching in curiosity as she looked back at him. "I-I can hardly ever make sense of it. Hardly ever real words…more mumbled sounds than anything, but last night…you-you...I just wanna know what's going on."

His hand reached up to move away a few strands of her hair before cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch, placing a soft kiss on his wrist before burying her face into his chest. "It's not my problem…it didn't start of as mine, but…" She took a deep breath and contemplated her thoughts before finishing. "Thea," she began, shocking Oliver straight away. "She-she thought-it was a false alarm-but it freaked her out, and how could it not. It's a big deal and she's still so young-and Roy-god Roy…he couldn't possibly…"

He gripped her arm, his heart beating a million miles a minute. "Felicity…"

She pressed her lips together, her rambling realization dawning on her suddenly. She got up, turned her whole body to face him. He looked startled and she could see all the battles going on behind his eyes. "Sorry…god this is not at all how I wanted to tell you. Thea-she-she was too scared and I told her she had to tell you-despite it not being true. Roy too…I told her she had to tell Roy too…"

Her face fell into her hands as Oliver continued to just stare at her. This wasn't at all what he was expecting, not at all. "Oliver, please." She pleaded. "Say something."

He swallowed hard, trying to get his mind and heart under control. "She's sure? She's absolutely positive?"

Felicity nodded. "The lunch, we didn't eat…we, we went to the hospital. Her results came back a few hours later…when you guys were out stopping Casper." He leaned back against the couch, his eyes closing off the world. "I'm so sorry-so-so very sorry."

He shot them open abruptly. "What, what on earth are you sorry about?"

"I-I don't even know…I just know that I feel like apologizing for something –for anything."

"Felicity, that's crazy."

"Maybe-but crazy has defined my life for a while now." She let out a short breath and reached out her hands too softly cradle his head. "You okay?"

"Honestly?" She nodded her head. "I really don't know…of all the things that the signs could've pointed too…this wasn't at all what I was expecting."

"Signs?" She corked her head to one side curiously.

"You-you didn't kiss me this morning, you weren't wearing any lipstick, and for heaven sakes Felicity- once upon a time Malcolm Merlyn created a man-made earth quake to destroy half the city, and your nails were still painted!"

Her mouth hung open. Great, he sounded crazier than their lives put together were. "Wow-I…you pay that much attention?"

His shoulders relaxed, his mind and heart relaxed at how thoroughly touched she sounded. "Of course I notice. Felicity, you've been one of the biggest parts of my life for years now. You're the first thing I think about in the morning and the last before I shut my eyes. My life revolves around you and as-as much as it scares me sometimes, I've never been more truthful about anything."

Her gaze faltered and for a moment she pulled away from him completely. "Truthfully," she said, playing off his words. "The distracted state I've been in all day wasn't all about Thea. I was worried about her to no end-really, I was-nervous for her-scared for her, but…" she met his gaze again and the sudden tears glistening in her eyes made him nervous. "It could've been me." She managed with a broken voice.

Her confession halted his breathing as he took in her apprehensive state. "Felicity, it's…"

"It's not anything, Oliver." She interjected suddenly. "It all felt too real, the similarities between me and her...the only difference is that she doesn't know the whole truth. She was scared because she and Roy are too young, that he wouldn't understand, but the rest of it…the real reasons she should be scared…those only I knew." Her honesty scared him to no end and he couldn't believe how much thought she had given all this…or how much he hadn't. "Every night I sit infront of a computer screen, watching you-watching Roy-do these crazy stupid things. Risking his life every single day while she's none the wiser. Thea-she's sitting at home waiting for him…while every night there's that lingering possibility that he may never make it home to her. A strong possibility –that only seems to get stronger the more confident that smug bastard becomes in his abilities."

His hand found her shoulder, gripping it softly. It relaxed her almost instantly, like it always did without fail. Tears were streaming down her face and he made to wipe them off before she could lift a finger. "Hey," he coaxed softly. "Tell me the truth." She knew what was coming. He saw it in her eyes and the way she bit her bottom lip nervously. "Is this about Thea and Roy…or about us?"

"Us," she cried, falling into his chest.

Oliver held her tightly and let out a shaky breath. He was right earlier when he thought he was foolish to think his double life could stay separated forever. There was a connection, and it was her. This living breathing person constantly held a strong grip on his mind and heart. She was everywhere and no matter what happened in any aspect of his life, it affected her. Because at the center of his whole existence was her presence. He let her in. From the moment he brought her a laptop filled with bullet holes, he left the door open for her. She chose to stay and he was never more thankful for that.

"It would be okay," he confessed, startling himself. "It-it would be okay."

"You don't have to just say that…"

"I'm not," he protested. "You know me, Felicity…you know I don't say things I don't mean." He reached out for her hands, holding them firmly. "You know what I think? I think your own reaction has you more on edge than what you expected mine to be."

"That is so not true…"

She didn't sound so convincing. "If it was you…and not Thea, what would you be feeling?"

"I don't know," she sighed heavily.

"That's because you're not supposed to know."

"W-what?"

Oliver took a deep breath trying his hardest to be sincere as possible. "Do you wanna know what the easiest thing about being with you is?"

"There's something easy?" she drawled.

He let out a small chuckle and opened his arms so she could once again lie against his chest. "Believe it or not, there's quite a few," he teasingly insisted. "But, the easiest is your high level of understanding, ability to compromise, and just deal with it all-with everything…Even when I don't deserve it." He placed a soft kiss on her head and was forever grateful for her tightening hold. "You take it all in stride. The good, the bad…the complicated. You just get it, and with how busy, hectic, and insane our life is…you have no idea what a gift that is. To be able to skip all the drama and just…and just enjoy the small pockets of being us we can manage."

"Our lives are never going to get uncomplicated-the façade and the real." She managed after a few moments. "If it happens…whenever it does, will you be okay with it?"

"I want a family, someday I do…and I want that with you." He could read between the lines, he could read her like a book. He knew what her main concern was and he was glad he found it. "Our lives may never get uncomplicated, but…maybe when we're actually ready that won't matter. Maybe then, we'll look past all the dangers and complications, and just be ready."

Felicity lifted her head just as he brought his down to face her. The genuine honesty in his voice took her breath away. He took down all his walls in that moment, and she could see every emotion floating around behind his eyes. He wasn't holding anything back from her tonight. It was the truth and nothing but the truth being laid out infront of her. They needed this. After just coasting along and pushing all the serious conversations to the back, they needed a night like this.

Her eyes closed on instant. His lips were soft and the meaning behind the kiss accelerated her heart rate by a million. They were pouring out their souls into this kiss-telling every secret they had. His fingers burned as they grazed her back and dug into her hips. She pushed herself closer still, arms winding around his neck and hands holding his head firmly in place. She thought after a few months the sparks in her stomach would fizzle out, her breath wouldn't leave her as quickly…but the reaction she had towards him never ceased to amaze her. It wasn't just attraction, it wasn't just lust…this was love.

"I love you too," she finally replied, her lips barley parting from his. "Thank you for being honest."

"Right back at you," he smiled, just before pressing his lips against hers for another heated kiss. She allowed him free reign; allowed his lips to trail down her neck, to the hollow of her throat, and end behind her ear. He broke away then, using his voice to make her shiver instead. "We okay?"

She flicked her eyes up, pleased to see a playful smile across his features. There was concern shining in his eyes, but she was okay with that. "Yeah…glad to get it off my chest." She pecked his lips and used his chest as her resting spot. "You gonna be this understanding towards Roy?"

"Not a chance in hell."

"Oliver…" she warned. She felt a chuckle vibrate in his chest beneath her.

"That's not my style, Felicity…don't pretend to think otherwise."

"Ugh, just go easy on him okay…he keeps you alive out there and I'd like to keep it that way."

His hold on her tightened and he kissed her head again. "Am I scaring you with how calm I'm being about this all?"

"Yup," she admitted easily. "Very much so…"

"It's you," he bargained. "You just make everything seem like it's going to be okay. You bring me down to earth and just…you're you. Simple as that." She reached up to kiss him again, thanking him the best way she knew how. "We're good. Life is good…and one day all the signs will point to our happily ever after…"

"Funny," she started, more happiness shining in her eyes than he had seen a while. "Cause, I've seen the signs already…pointing right at you."


End file.
